CLE Staff and Students Share what Friendship Means to Them
Home BlogCollege Living ExperienceCLE Staff and Students Share what Friendship Means to Them
no image

CLE Staff and Students Share what Friendship Means to Them

I Get by with a Little Help from my Friends

by Julie Burke, CLE Austin

What is a friendship? John and Ryan - friends at CLE Austin

This is a word that many people understand and know what it feels like, but may have a more difficult time conceptualizing what exactly a friend is. A friendship is an interpersonal bond between two or more people in which people care about one another and enjoy time spent together. Throughout life, people generally have numerous friendships—some last many years while some may be more short-term. Friendships can begin to form for a variety of reasons (e.g., people attend the same classes at school or live in the same neighborhood, people enjoy playing/watching the same sport, etc.) however, maintaining these bonds relies on people valuing the same qualities in friendships and often involve sharing common interests with one another.

For this article, I surveyed CLE staff and students asking them what they value in friendships and how they know when someone is their friend. When reflecting on qualities I value in friendships, the following characteristics come to mind: someone who is honest, supportive, friendly, and trustworthy. It is important to me that people who are my friends can be serious when necessary, but are not afraid to be silly from time to time, too. The way I know someone is my friend is when we make efforts to see and/or communicate with another and enjoy spending time together. A friend should know when you’re having a good day versus when you’re pretending and then can be there for you to help things get better. Below are the responses from many of our staff and students.

What qualities do you want in a friend?

Students

Someone who is trustworthy, great sense of humor, caring, compassionate, a good listener, easy to talk to, fun to be around, likes similar things that I do, and is easy going.
– Carly O.


What I want in a friendship is someone who is nice, trustworthy, can hang out at times.
– Garrett H.


A nice, caring, helpful person.
– Daniel C.


I want a friend to be nice and social.
– Satish P.


Friendly, helpful, nice.
– Solomon O.


Politeness.
– John W.


People who are nice and funny.
– Alex G.


Humor, loyalty, trustworthy, kindness.
– Taylor K.


Similar interests, calm, generally not overly negative qualities.
– Travis C.


Someone who is helpful, outgoing, and interested in sports and music.
– Jace H.


Friendly, nice, encouraging, kind, supportive, funny, share common interests, silly, and good listeners.
– Manny Mac V.


Loyalty, trustworthy, and goofy at any moment.
– Ryan S.


Honesty, loyalty, and courage.
– Conor H.


I want an honest [person].
– Bob D.


A guy who treats me like a brother. Someone who treats me like family.
– Hunter H.


I want a friend who is honest, funny, and respectful.
– Zack M.


Gentleness, kindness, protective, strong, compassion, loving, caring, nice, polite, very funny.
– Chris C.


The qualities I want in a friend are humor, loyalty, trustworthy, supportive, and show empathy, and are protective.
– Kiley P.


A friend is someone who cares about you and knows your flaws and doesn’t care.
– Steven O.


Loyal, selfless, a person who is not biased and likes to hang.
– Robert G.

CLE Friends at Slick Willies Pool Hall

Staff

Independent, self-confident, fun, and trustworthy.
– Josh M., Resident Advisor


Honesty, humor, kindness, open-minded, reliable, supportive.
– Elizabeth M., Mentor


The qualities that I look for in a friend are values that I have myself: truthfulness, honesty, and forgiving.
– Barbara T., Tutor


Honesty, humor, reliability, trustworthiness, authenticity, kindness, easy-going.
– Kendra E., Academic Coordinator


Someone with at least some of the same interests/hobbies/beliefs as me; sense of humor; trustworthy; kind; generous (with time, empathy, etc.)
– Kati S., Career Development Instructor


Kindness, honesty, sense of humor.
– Brett B., Tutor


Someone who truly listens, as well as shares things about themselves. Someone who likes me exactly as I am.
– Jen H., Executive Assistant


Similar interests and values, reciprocation of plan-making and respect. Someone who can tease me without going too far! Someone who will point out if I’m about to do something stupid. Preferably someone who prefers Batman over Superman, but that’s nonessential.
– Mary K., Campus & Community Liaison


Someone who supports and challenges me to be a better version of myself, forgives me, but is honest with me so I can be or do better next time, accepts my flaws with no judgment and expects all the same in return.
– Marie O., Student Services Coordinator


Someone who embodies the qualities that I strive for myself—loyalty, acceptance, willingness to help, and humility. Common interests also help.
– Scott A., Psychologist


Loyalty, common interests, trust, sense of humor, caring, fun, positive, supportive.
– Bronwyn T., Director


Always ready to listen, accepts me even when I’m not nice, gives great hugs.
– Mary Jo M., Assistant Vice President


Safe, supportive, understanding, strong, smart.
– Stephanie, M., President

Friends at CLE Austin

How do you know when someone is your friend?

Students

When I can be myself around them and talk about personal things without being judged. If I can have fun with them.
– Carly O.


I know when someone is my friend by how much he respects me and I can trust him with telling him certain things.
– Garrett H.


When they are being helpful to you.
– Daniel C.


I want a friend to be nice and social.
– Alex G.


When they treat you with respect and are always there for you.
– Taylor K.


We get a long, hang out somewhat regularly.
– Travis C.


Want to hang out, invite you over, and ask for their number.
– Hunter H.


They always call or text you.
– Jace H.


When you get to see them in their environment.
– Ryan S.


Respect.
– Bob D.


A true friend is one who gives great advice, especially when you need it most and is there for you whenever you need it. The people you grew up with then spend time apart only to get back together.
– Hunter H.


I get a little excited to see them when I have a hangout plan.
– Zack M.


When there is laughter, a good smile, and you have common interests/hobbies.
– Chris C.


Keeps your secrets secured, stays on your side, if you’re going through a difficult time, he or she shows empathy, they keep promises, and never forget your birthday.
– Kiley P.


They seem to be interested in what you like and try to do some of those things with you.
– Steven O.

Staff

When you have a good history with someone through shared experiences.
– Josh M., Resident Advisor


When you can be your true self around them and feel comfort and support.
– Elizabeth M., Mentor


I know that someone is my friend by the positive feelings I feel when I am with them. Some of the positive feelings can be: laughter, comfort, peacefulness, and happiness.
– Barbara T., Tutor


When I can be myself around them. When I don’t feel like I need to “earn” or “buy” their time/attention. When I feel better about myself when I’m around them.
– Kendra E., Academic Coordinator


When they show interest and care for me and those I love; when they reciprocate (i.e.: I’m not the only one calling, making plans, doing things to help, etc.); when they know my faults and still “show up”.
– Kati S., Career Development Instructor


When they openly talk and listen to me, share related experiences, go out of their way to say “hello” or hang out or even someone who just smiles and waves is pretty awesome.
– Brett B., Tutor


When they like me at my worst as well as my best.
– Jen H., Executive Assistant


When we can chat for hours, when they invite me to do things together, when they treat me and my stuff nicely, when I value their opinions and vice versa—but only if one of those things is present, we’re just acquaintances.
– Mary K., Campus & Community Liaison


When you can be open with that person and not be afraid that they are going to judge or reject you. Another good test for friendship is moving day and seeing who is willing to help.
– Scott A., Psychologist


They want to spend time with you, they care about you, you feel happy spending time together.
– Bronwyn T., Director


Their smile when they see you, they love to spend time with you, and when you do not feel good — they call or text.
– Mary Jo M., Assistant Vice President


When it’s easy and doesn’t take effort.
– Stephanie, M., President

Newsletter Articles – Newsletter 2015

Robert at CLE Davie

Robert, in his second year at CLE Davie talks about his dating experiences.

Friends at CLE Rockville learning reciprocity

Whether it is a friendship or something more, reciprocity is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. What is social reciprocity? As the name implies, reciprocity consists of a back and forth. In a social context, reciprocity can be described as an exchange of gestures, which can be verbal or nonverbal, where each person mirrors a response from the other.

Social reciprocity can be seen in everyday interactions, beginning with a simple, “Hello, how are you?” You can answer, “Fine,” and leave it at that – but a better, and more reciprocal, response would be, “I’m fine, how are you?” This give-and-take shows interest in the other person and openness to continuing the exchange. Reciprocity can be seen in more complex interactions as well, such as picking out a birthday present. All sorts of factors are taken into account, from how well do you know this person and his or her likes and interests, to how much is it appropriate to spend based on past interactions and how much they may have spent on you? Social reciprocity is all about balance.

Ellie at CLE Denver discusses gender identity

Ellie is a student at College Living Experience who identifies as a transgender woman. She was comfortable with me using her real name. Ellie is on track to graduate with her Bachelor’s degree from Metro State University this semester, and was generous to take a few minutes away from her academic workload to describe the impact of gender identity on relationship dynamics.

The post CLE Staff and Students Share what Friendship Means to Them appeared first on College Living Experience | CLE | Choose Your Future.

This has been a special needs program update from College Living Experience | CLE | Choose Your Future. You may also click here to read the original article on the main program website.